Too Late for Power of Attorney: What Happened to Our Family

Too Late for Power of Attorney: The Roberts Family Story

*This is based on real experiences shared with us. Names and some details have been changed to protect privacy.*

When "Soon" Becomes "Never"

The Roberts family always meant to sort out Mum's Power of Attorney. It was on the list. Along with updating the will, sorting the attic, and a dozen other things that never seemed urgent.

"Mum mentioned it after her friend's husband went into a home," says daughter Emma. "She said, 'We should do that power of attorney thing.' We all agreed. Then we went back to our lives."

That conversation was in 2019. In 2023, they discovered it was too late.

The Gradual Decline

Margaret Roberts was 79 when she started repeating herself. Her children noticed but didn't worry—everyone forgets things at that age.

By 81, she was forgetting appointments. Leaving the cooker on. Getting confused about which day it was.

"We kept saying 'she's just getting older.' We didn't want to label it. Didn't want to admit what we were seeing."

The GP eventually suggested a memory assessment. The diagnosis: moderate Alzheimer's disease.

"My first thought—after the shock—was 'we need to get that Power of Attorney sorted.' I called a solicitor that afternoon."

The Shattering News

The solicitor visited Margaret at home. Asked her questions. Showed her the forms. The visit lasted an hour.

Afterwards, she called Emma.

"Your mother is a lovely lady. But I'm afraid she doesn't have the mental capacity to make a Lasting Power of Attorney. She couldn't tell me who she wanted as attorney. Couldn't explain what powers she'd be giving. Couldn't consistently remember what an LPA is. I cannot witness her signature on a document she doesn't understand."

What "Too Late" Means

Many people don't understand why it's ever "too late" for an LPA. The reason is fundamental to what an LPA is:

An LPA is YOUR decision, made while YOU have capacity, about who YOU want to act for YOU.

If you don't understand what you're signing, you're not making a decision—someone else is making it for you. That's not an LPA. That's something else entirely.

"The solicitor explained it kindly. She said Mum could have good days and bad days, but the law requires consistent understanding. If Mum couldn't reliably explain the LPA today, tomorrow, and next week, she couldn't make one. The window had closed."

The Only Option: Court of Protection

Without an LPA, the Roberts family had one path: apply to the Court of Protection for deputyship.

"It felt like we were going behind Mum's back. When she was well, she said she wanted us—her children—to help her. Now a court would decide if we could."

The process:

• Application forms and evidence gathering
• Medical capacity assessment (confirming what they already knew)
• Financial disclosure
• Court processing
• Eventual hearing

The timeline: Eight months.

The cost: Over £5,000 in legal fees and court costs.

The Family Tensions

"The court required us to name one deputy. But there are three of us—me, my brother Simon, and my sister Claire. We'd always assumed we'd act together."

The application allowed for joint deputies, but it complicated things. Required more documentation. Raised questions about how decisions would be made.

"We'd never argued about Mum before. Now we were having difficult conversations about who should be in charge, how we'd make decisions, what Mum would have wanted. All the conversations we should have had WITH her, years earlier, we were having without her."

What Mum Would Have Decided

The hardest part was not knowing for certain what Margaret would have wanted.

"She'd mentioned wanting all three of us involved. But she'd also mentioned, separately, that Emma should handle the money because she was 'good with numbers.' And that Claire should make health decisions because she was a nurse.

If she'd made LPAs, we'd know exactly what she intended. Instead, we had fragments of conversations, half-remembered comments, and our own interpretations. It caused tension. Still does."

The Ongoing Reality

The Court of Protection eventually appointed Emma and Simon as joint deputies. Now they:

• File annual accounts with the court
• Pay ongoing supervision fees
• Need court permission for major decisions
• Navigate a system designed for oversight, not ease

"Every time I pay Mum's care home fees, I think: this would be so much simpler if she'd signed two pieces of paper five years ago. Instead, we have court orders, supervision, fees, and complexity. All because we 'didn't get round to it.'"

What the Family Wishes They'd Known

Emma: "I wish I'd understood that dementia creeps up. There's no clear line between 'fine' and 'too late.' By the time you're worried enough to act, it might already be impossible."

Simon: "I wish someone had told us that LPAs are for healthy people. You make them when you don't need them. That's the whole point."

Claire: "I wish we'd just done it that first time Mum mentioned it. We all agreed it was a good idea. We just... didn't do it."

The Window Nobody Sees Closing

"Here's the cruel thing: Mum seemed fine when she first mentioned LPA. A bit forgetful, but fine. If we'd acted then, no problem. A year later, probably still fine. Two years later, getting harder. Three years later, too late.

There was no alarm bell. No clear sign that said 'capacity ending—act now.' It just gradually slipped away while we were busy with our lives."

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Signs It Might Be Getting Late

Watch for:

• Repeating stories or questions frequently
• Confusion about dates, times, or sequences
• Difficulty managing bills or finances
• Getting lost in familiar places
• Personality changes or withdrawal

If you're seeing these signs, don't wait. Act this week.

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The Brutal Timeline of Dementia

Stage

Capacity for LPA?

Healthy	Yes - do it now
Very early cognitive changes	Probably yes - do it immediately
Mild cognitive impairment	Maybe - get assessed quickly
Early dementia	Unlikely - may already be too late
Moderate dementia	Almost certainly too late
Advanced dementia	Definitely too late

The time to act is before you're worried.

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Don't Be the Roberts Family

They're good people. They loved their mum. They intended to help her.

But intentions don't count. Only actions do.

If your parents don't have LPAs, help them make them. If YOU don't have LPAs, make them yourself.

Today.

Create Your LPA Now - From £74 →