When Mum Had a Stroke: How We Couldn't Access Her Bank Account

When Mum Had a Stroke: A Family's Story

*This is based on real experiences shared with us. Names and some details have been changed to protect privacy.*

The Phone Call That Changed Everything

Sarah was at work when her phone rang. It was the hospital. Her mum, Patricia, 68, had collapsed at home. A neighbour had found her and called an ambulance. Patricia had suffered a major stroke.

"I dropped everything and drove straight to the hospital," Sarah recalls. "All I could think about was Mum. I didn't think about money or bills or any of that. Why would you?"

The First Week: Focus on Mum

For the first week, Sarah barely left her mother's side. Patricia was unconscious, then confused, then slowly began to recognise her daughter. The medical team were cautiously optimistic—Patricia might recover significant function, but it would take months of rehabilitation.

"Around day five, my brother Mark called. He'd been checking Mum's post. There was a mortgage statement showing a payment was due in ten days. And a council tax reminder. And utility bills."

The Problem Becomes Clear

Sarah assumed she could simply pay her mother's bills from her mother's account. After all, she had her mum's bank card and knew the PIN (Patricia had given it to her years ago "just in case").

"I went to the bank. Explained Mum was in hospital after a stroke. Asked to transfer money to pay her mortgage. The cashier was sympathetic but said she'd need to get a manager."

The manager explained the situation: Patricia's account was in her sole name. Without proper legal authority, no one—not even her daughter—could access it.

"But I Have Her Card and PIN"

"I said I had her card and knew her PIN. Surely I could just withdraw cash? The manager shook her head. Using someone else's card without their current, conscious consent would be fraud—even with good intentions. They could see Mum's direct debits, and some would bounce if the account wasn't managed. But their hands were tied."

The bank wasn't being difficult. They were following the law.

What About a Letter from the Hospital?

Sarah asked if a letter from the hospital confirming her mother's condition would help.

"The manager explained that a medical letter proves incapacity—but it doesn't grant authority. No letter can do that. Only a Lasting Power of Attorney, created before the incapacity, or a court order, obtained after. And we had neither."

The Mounting Bills

Over the following weeks, the situation worsened:

Mortgage payment: Bounced. A late fee applied.
Council tax: Reminder turned to warning.
Utility bills: Direct debits failed.
Insurance: Home insurance payment bounced.
Credit rating: Patricia's credit score plummeted.

"I was terrified the mortgage company would start repossession proceedings. Mum had worked her whole life for that house. She'd nearly paid it off. And now it could be taken because no one could make a simple payment."

The Only Option: Court of Protection

Sarah learned about the Court of Protection—a court that can appoint a "deputy" to manage the affairs of someone who lacks mental capacity.

"I thought, 'Great, let's do that.' Then I learned how it actually works."

The reality:

Application fee: £371
Solicitor costs: £3,200 (Sarah was quoted)
Assessment costs: £800
Time to process: 4-6 months minimum
Ongoing supervision fee: £320 per year

"I didn't have £4,000 spare. Neither did Mark. And even if we found it, Mum's mortgage would have defaulted long before any court order came through."

Emergency Measures

Sarah and Mark did what many families in this situation do—they paid from their own money.

"Mark paid the mortgage from his savings. I covered the utilities. Between us, we kept the house going. But we're not wealthy people. Mark has kids. I was saving for my own deposit. We were spending money we couldn't really afford."

The Frustrating Part

"The most frustrating thing? Mum had talked about getting Power of Attorney. A few years ago, after her friend's husband got dementia. She said, 'We should do that.' We said, 'Yes, definitely.' Then life got busy. It cost money we didn't want to spend. We thought there was plenty of time."

Patricia was 68. Fit and healthy. She walked three miles every day.

"Strokes don't wait until you're 'old enough.' They just happen."

Six Months Later

The Court of Protection eventually granted Sarah deputyship. By then:

Total legal costs: £4,371
Money Sarah and Mark had spent from their own funds: £6,200
Credit repair costs: Ongoing
Stress on family: Immeasurable
Time spent on paperwork: Countless hours

Patricia did recover—enough to live semi-independently with support. But she'll never fully regain capacity to manage complex finances. Sarah manages everything now, under court supervision, filing annual reports and paying annual fees.

What Should Have Happened

"If Mum had spent £140 and two hours of her time making LPAs before the stroke, none of this would have happened. I could have walked into the bank the day after she collapsed, shown my authority, and paid her mortgage. Simple. Instead, we spent thousands and nearly lost her house."

The LPA That Could Have Saved Everything

Cost of two LPAs with myLPA: £140 + £164 registration = £304

Cost of Court of Protection route: £4,371+ and six months of chaos

A Message from Sarah

"I tell everyone I know now. Don't wait. Your parents might not want to think about it. They might say they're 'too young' or 'fine.' My mum was fine too. Until she suddenly wasn't.

If you love your parents, help them make LPAs. It takes 15 minutes online. It costs less than a nice meal out. And it could save your family thousands of pounds and months of misery.

Don't make our mistake. Don't learn this lesson the hard way."

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Key Takeaways

Strokes and emergencies don't discriminate by age

Banks legally cannot let you access someone else's account without authority

A letter from a hospital proves incapacity—it doesn't grant access

Court of Protection is expensive (£4,000+) and slow (4-6 months)

An LPA costs around £300 total and takes 15 minutes to set up

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Don't Let This Happen to Your Family

Create your LPA now, while everyone is healthy and it feels unnecessary. That's exactly when you need to do it.

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