The Family Who Waited Too Long: Dementia Without LPA
The Hendersons: A Cautionary Tale
*Names and some details changed to protect privacy. Story based on common experiences reported to myLPA.*
The Henderson family thought they had time. Margaret, 72, was sharp as a tack—managing her own finances, driving, living independently. Her daughter Sarah had mentioned LPAs a few times, but Margaret always said "I'll get round to it."
Then came the fall.
The Diagnosis
After Margaret broke her hip in the garden, the hospital stay revealed something her family had been unconsciously ignoring: Margaret had dementia. The confusion they'd attributed to pain and medication was actually moderate-stage Alzheimer's.
Within two weeks, it was clear Margaret couldn't return home alone. She needed care—and that care needed funding.
The Financial Nightmare Begins
Margaret had savings of £120,000 and owned her house outright—more than enough to fund years of quality care. But Sarah discovered a horrifying truth:
She couldn't access any of it.
The Bank Said No
"I'm sorry, but without Power of Attorney or a court order, we cannot discuss or give access to your mother's account. This is for her protection."The House Couldn't Be Sold
Even with Margaret's confused consent, no solicitor would proceed with selling the house. Without an LPA, they couldn't confirm Margaret understood the transaction.Bills Started Piling Up
While Margaret was in hospital:- Council tax was due
- Utility bills accumulated
- The house insurance lapsed
- A small direct debit failed, affecting Margaret's credit score
The Court of Protection Process
Sarah had no choice but to apply to the Court of Protection for Deputyship—the only way to legally manage her mother's affairs.
The Timeline
- Week 1-2: Finding a solicitor who handles Deputyship
- Week 3-4: Gathering information, completing forms
- Week 5: Application submitted
- Week 6-20: Waiting... and waiting... and waiting
- Week 20: Application approved (16 weeks after Margaret entered hospital)
The Costs
| Item | Cost |
|---|
| Court application fee | £371 |
| Solicitor fees | £2,400 |
| Medical assessment | £150 |
| First annual supervision fee | £320 |
| Total to gain access to Mum's own money | £3,241 |
The Care Home Dilemma
While waiting for Deputyship, Sarah faced an impossible choice:
Option 1: Keep Mum in Hospital
- Taking a bed someone else needed
- Not appropriate for her condition
- Hospital was applying pressure to discharge
Option 2: Pay for Care Yourself
Sarah dipped into her own savings:- £1,200/week for temporary care home
- 16 weeks = £19,200
- Sarah wasn't sure she'd ever get it back
Option 3: Accept Council-Funded Placement
- Limited choice of homes
- Margaret would be placed wherever had space
- Often far from family
- Quality variable
The Emotional Cost
Beyond the money, the family suffered:
Sarah:
- Took unpaid leave from work
- Spent countless hours on paperwork
- Felt guilty about decisions she had to make
- Worried constantly about doing the right thing
- Couldn't access their joint account properly
- Felt powerless to help his wife
- Had to rely on children for cash
- Developed stress-related health issues
- Disagreed about care decisions
- One accused Sarah of trying to "take control"
- Family gatherings became tense
- Relationships strained for years afterward
What LPAs Would Have Changed
If Margaret had created LPAs when Sarah first suggested it:
Timeline
- Day 1: Sarah could have shown the LPA at the bank
- Day 2: Started paying bills and arranging care
- Day 3: Chosen a care home together
- Week 2: Margaret settled in her preferred home
Costs
| Item | Cost |
|---|
| LPA registration (both) | £164 |
| LPA service | ~£200 |
| Total | ~£364 |
Family Impact
- Sarah would have clear authority—no accusations
- George could have been joint attorney
- Decisions based on Margaret's recorded wishes
- Family united in following Mum's plan
The Lesson
Margaret's story is tragically common. Every week, families find themselves in this position—loving relatives unable to help their own parents because of missing paperwork.
Margaret's Words
When Sarah finally explained what had happened, Margaret—in a lucid moment—said:*"I thought I was being independent by not doing it. But I just made it harder for everyone. If I'd known... I'm so sorry, love."*
Don't Be Margaret
The time to create an LPA is now—while you're healthy, while you can make decisions calmly, while it's simple.
At myLPA, both types of LPA cost from £140. That's less than 1% of what the Hendersons paid.
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*If you're currently in a situation like Sarah's, contact the Office of the Public Guardian for guidance on Deputyship applications. We can help with future planning but cannot assist with court applications.*
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