Power of Attorney for Elderly Parent Without Consent: What Are Your Options?
Power of Attorney for Elderly Parent Without Consent: What Are Your Options?
This is one of the most difficult situations families face. Your elderly parent needs help managing their affairs, but they either refuse to sign a Lasting Power of Attorney or they have already lost the mental capacity to do so.
It is a deeply personal and often emotional topic. This guide explains the legal position clearly, offers practical advice for having the conversation, and outlines what options remain if consent is not possible.
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The Fundamental Rule: You Cannot Force an LPA
Let us be completely clear: you cannot force someone to sign a Lasting Power of Attorney. It is illegal and it is wrong.
An LPA is only valid if the donor:
- Has mental capacity to understand what they are signing
- Is acting voluntarily — not under pressure, coercion, or undue influence
- Understands the consequences of creating the LPA
This is a safeguard, not an obstacle. It exists to protect vulnerable people from abuse.
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Situation 1: Your Parent Has Capacity but Refuses
This is the more common scenario. Your parent is mentally capable of creating an LPA but simply does not want to. They might say:
- *"I do not need one — I am perfectly fine"*
- *"I do not want anyone controlling my money"*
- *"That is for old people"*
- *"I will sort it out later"*
- *"I do not trust anyone with my affairs"*
Why Parents Resist
Understanding the reasons behind the refusal helps you address them:
Fear of losing control Many parents worry that signing an LPA means handing over control immediately. This is not true. A Health and Welfare LPA can only be used when the donor has lost capacity. A Property and Financial Affairs LPA can be used earlier, but only with the donor's permission while they have capacity.
Denial about ageing Nobody wants to think about losing their mental faculties. Acknowledging the possibility feels like giving in to it.
Mistrust Some parents have heard stories about attorneys abusing their position. They fear their children might take advantage.
Lack of understanding Many people simply do not know what an LPA is or how it works. The legal language can be intimidating.
Cost concerns Parents on fixed incomes may worry about the expense — especially if they have been quoted £300-£500+ by solicitors.
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How to Have the Conversation
Getting an elderly parent to agree to an LPA requires patience, empathy, and the right approach.
1. Choose the Right Moment
Do not bring it up during a crisis or when emotions are running high. Choose a calm, relaxed time — perhaps after a family meal or during a quiet afternoon.2. Frame It as Protection, Not Control
Emphasise that an LPA is about their protection:- *"This is about making sure YOUR wishes are followed"*
- *"Without an LPA, a stranger — a court-appointed deputy — would make decisions for you"*
- *"This keeps you in control. You choose who acts for you and how"*
3. Share Real Examples
Explain what happens without an LPA:- *"If you had a stroke tomorrow, I could not access your bank account to pay your bills"*
- *"The court process to get deputyship takes months and costs thousands of pounds"*
- *"A judge — someone who has never met you — would decide who manages your affairs"*
4. Address Their Specific Concerns
Listen to what they are actually worried about, and address it directly:- Fear of losing control: "You can add restrictions. You can say I cannot sell your house without getting independent advice. You stay in charge."
- Trust issues: "You can name multiple attorneys who must agree on big decisions. There are safeguards."
- Cost: "With myLPA, it costs just £74 — far less than a solicitor. And it could save the family thousands if a deputyship is ever needed."
- "I am fine": "It is not about today. It is insurance for the future. Like house insurance — you hope you never need it."
5. Involve a Trusted Third Party
Sometimes a parent will listen to their GP, their solicitor, their best friend, or another family member more readily than their own children. If you are not getting through, consider asking someone they respect to raise the topic.6. Share This Guide
Sometimes reading information privately is less threatening than a face-to-face conversation. Share this article or the myLPA website and let them read it in their own time.7. Be Patient
Do not push too hard in a single conversation. Plant the seed, give them time, and come back to it. Pressuring someone can reinforce their resistance.---
Situation 2: Your Parent Has Lost Mental Capacity
This is the harder scenario. If your parent can no longer understand what an LPA is and make an informed decision to create one, it is too late for an LPA.
How Mental Capacity Is Assessed
Under the Mental Capacity Act 2005, a person lacks capacity if they cannot:
Capacity is decision-specific. Someone might have capacity for some decisions but not others. A GP or specialist typically assesses capacity.
Your Only Option: Court of Protection Deputyship
If your parent has lost mental capacity and has no LPA in place, the only legal route to managing their affairs is a deputyship order from the Court of Protection.
What this involves:
- Application to the court — complex forms detailing your parent's situation, their assets, and why you should be appointed deputy
- Medical evidence — a capacity assessment from a doctor or psychiatrist
- Notification of family members — all close relatives must be informed of the application
- Court decision — a judge reviews the application and decides whether to appoint a deputy and who it should be
- Security bond — you may need to take out a bond (a type of insurance) to protect your parent's assets
| Cost | Amount |
| Court application fee | £371 |
| Solicitor fees (if used) | £1,000 – £5,000+ |
| Medical assessment | £100 – £500 |
| Security bond | £100 – £300 |
| Annual supervision fee | £320/year (ongoing) |
| Total first year | £2,000 – £6,000+ (without solicitor: £900+) |
Compare this to an LPA that could have been set up for £74 with myLPA plus the £82 OPG registration fee. The contrast is stark.
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Do not let this situation happen to your family. If your parent still has capacity, help them create an LPA today.
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What If Family Members Disagree?
Deputyship applications can become contested if family members disagree about:
- Who should be deputy — siblings may each want the role
- Whether a deputy is needed — some family members may not accept the parent's condition
- How assets should be managed — disagreements about care decisions or spending
An LPA avoids all of this. When the parent chooses their own attorney, there is no room for family disputes about who should act.
What You Can Do Right Now
If Your Parent Still Has Capacity (Even Partial)
Act today. Do not wait for the "right time" — there may not be one. If your parent can still understand what an LPA is and make an informed choice:
If Your Parent Has Lost Capacity
If You Are Unsure About Your Parent's Capacity
Ask their GP for an assessment. Mental capacity is not always obvious, and a professional assessment provides clarity.
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Protecting Yourself Too
If you are reading this because you are worried about your parent, take a moment to think about your own situation.
Do you have an LPA? If not, you could end up in exactly the same position. Your children or partner would face the same frustrations and costs.
Creating an LPA while you are young and healthy is the single best thing you can do for your family. With myLPA, it costs just £74 per LPA — making it the most affordable option in the UK.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Can I get Power of Attorney for my parent without their knowledge?
No. The donor (your parent) must sign the LPA themselves and understand what they are signing. A certificate provider independently verifies this. You cannot create an LPA for someone without their knowledge or consent.What if my parent has early-stage dementia — can they still sign an LPA?
Possibly. Mental capacity is decision-specific and can fluctuate. Someone with early-stage dementia may still have capacity to understand and sign an LPA, particularly on a good day. A GP or solicitor can assess capacity. Acting quickly is essential — as dementia progresses, capacity will be lost.Can I apply for deputyship while my parent still has capacity?
No. A deputyship application can only be made when someone has lost mental capacity. While your parent has capacity, the correct approach is to encourage them to create an LPA voluntarily.How long does a deputyship order last?
A deputyship order typically lasts for the rest of the person's life (or until they regain capacity, which is rare for conditions like dementia). The deputy must file annual reports and pay annual supervision fees.What if my parent agrees but cannot physically sign the document?
If your parent understands the LPA but physically cannot sign (due to disability or illness), someone else can sign on their behalf — in their presence and at their direction. This is legally valid.Can multiple siblings apply for deputyship?
Yes, multiple people can be appointed as co-deputies. However, this can complicate decision-making. If siblings cannot agree, the court may appoint a professional deputy instead — which is more expensive as professional deputies charge fees from the parent's estate.---
The Message Is Simple: Act Now
Whether your parent is 50 or 90, the time to create an LPA is now — while they still have the capacity to do so. Every day of delay is a day closer to a situation where an expensive, stressful deputyship is the only option.
An LPA with myLPA costs just £74. A deputyship costs thousands. The choice is clear.
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